im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
