I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
