So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Who died my cat blue again?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
