Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
