absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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