Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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