like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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