He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
