It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
