I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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