I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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