Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
