We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
