Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
