I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
