I got chris browned last night
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You are a genius and a whore.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
