i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I need water and some morals
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
