Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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