He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
