a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
