dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
