"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
