So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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