Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
