I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
