making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize