Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
