How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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