Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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