I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
