I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
