How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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