All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
