yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
