I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Randomize
