p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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