Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
