I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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