just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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