dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
birth control should be required to get into college
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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