This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
