I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
