haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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