i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize