I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize