Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize