when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
