I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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