All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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