Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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