she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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