idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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