We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
