i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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