You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
