Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize