I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
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