Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
