If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
