I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize