Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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