my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
