she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
